Nice Conversations VS. Successful Conversations

Every job seeker has been in this situation at least once. You had an interview that you thought went well, but a few days later you got an email from the recruiter or manager saying they opted to go with a different candidate. You're surprised because you thought you nailed the interview. You can ask for feedback, but if you get any it may not be the whole story behind their decision. So, what is there to learn from this? It turns out quite a lot, and it boils down to the difference between nice conversations and successful conversations--which are very different. So, what’s the difference?

A nice conversation involves pleasantries and other rapport building tactics, and seemingly effective discussion about the job, your resume, your career goals, the company and their goals, etc. These conversations usually seem to go well. But just having a nice conversation with someone won't get you an job offer. Beware of extended periods of small talk. You want to build rapport quickly, but then promptly shift the focus back to the job. If you spend a large part of the interview talking about anything other than why your experience makes you a great fit for the job and how you'll add value to the team, then you're putting yourself at risk of having the interviewer(s) think, "what a nice guy" instead of "what a perfect candidate for the job." 

Unlike a nice conversation, a successful conversation has a clear agenda. And if you're smart, you've mapped it out ahead of the interview. Your ability to clearly communicate your strengths, expertise, and value directly impacts whether your conversation is successful. If you focus too much on small talk or on superficial areas, a hiring manager may not even notice that you haven’t talked enough about technical expertise areas or your ability to lead projects and deliver them on time. Then, later when they are evaluating multiple finalist candidates, they will naturally gravitate toward the person they thought communicated their strengths and skills most effectively, AND the person who seemed to fit in best with their team. That person usually gets the offer. It's your job to watch out for situations like this and to expertly balance rapport building with discussion around your relevant skills and experience. When the interview is over, you want the hiring manager to understand what it will be like to work with you, and what you're capable of delivering when they hire you. 

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